THE PANTS give johnny luck
by Deadaliveheavenhell
Summary: 1Mill.fizz wizz bottles,1mill.dollars,and Todd Johnny's getting good luck these days this will be funny as soon as my rust vanishes
1. a little heaven on earth

Discliamer:I dont own Johnny or anything (DAMN!!!!)Jhonen Vasquez owns them (Gimme them JHONEN!!!!)  
  
Lemme show you what kind of heaven is on earth!:Johnny is sitting at his desk finishing up with the happy noodle boy 'Okay should it be where he is getting shot again or getting stabbed better go with the shot' Knock Knock! "Who the hell can that be?"Whispered Johnny to himself getting up. He opens the door and see's Todd (*Squee*) he was crying and gasping for air "Mr.Nny help me please!!!"Yelled Todd running in and behind Johnny.  
  
(1 Hour later) Todd stopped crying and Johnny smiling "So you say your father kicked you after trying to kill you well we'll see about that,"Said Johnny smiling more "I need some money can I kill him now?"Asked Johnny giving dog eyes "I'm an out cast do whatever you want."Thats all he said before getting up and tried to go out the door "Hey Squee where are you going?"Johnny asked "I'm going to school."Said Todd Johnny gets up and runs to the door "Hey Squee how about living with me?I can adopt you!"Said Johnny with excitment.  
  
(At school with Johnny watching)Todd walks in sweating looking around Johnny stares at him from his tree near the school with a sniper...knive he's still smiling Todd walks into the zombie class "Hello Ms.Bitters!"Said Todd tyring to sound like a zombie (a/n:Thats her name watch invader ZIM and it will show it : ))"Hello Todd finally try the cafeteria food?Good!"Said Ms.Bitters.  
  
(End of school it was a short thing educational you learned the name of Todds teacher) Todd walks out of school still trying to see Johnny "Hey Todd lets play!"said some kid that looks like one big boil then pushes Todd in the gutter getting him wet then a knive flys through the air and hits the kid through the hand "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH"Boil face yells out in pain before getting ran over.  
  
(At Nny's house)!Ring!!Ring! "Telephone!!!"Yells Johnny in excitment (A/N:Dang he jumpy today) "Hello?" says Johnny into the reciever "Hi Johnny?"Says some voice he does'nt know "You just won ONE MILLION BOTTLES OF FIZZ WIZZ!!!"Johnny hangs up the phone grabs a bottle of fizz wizz see's the contest and address jolts out the door and is at the fizz wizz place (A/N:I like spelling wiz as wizz)"Hi I am Johnny I'm here about my one million bottles of fizz wizz!"Said Johnny to the clerk "And so isthe other one hundred people!"Said the clerk looking at the happy noodle boy comic immedeatly he takes out a knives and kills everybody "I'll rephrase that I'm here about MY one million fizz wizz bottles!"The clerk looks at him "Yes sir it will be delivered immediatly!"She says before running.  
  
(End of chapter one)I suck at beginning's I will try harder next time flame me if you wish I have not written in a long time so I am rusty expect more comedy okay? alright the idiotic bags of filth are gone wait a minute sorry didnt mean it! 


	2. Adoption what does this have to do with ...

Disclaimer:Hello!(Insert name here) how are you doin? Johnny adopts Squee! today! oh yeah and (Ditto the first one) I need you too pick up my dry cleaning!  
  
Adoption how has this any connection to me?:Johnny walks along a street with Todd taking him to the adoption agency "Hey Squee how was the crazy house?did you try the stew?"Asked Johnny. Todd looks at him "It was horrible this one guy kept hitting me and the stew was the only thing there!"Said Todd speaking as fast you can say something very short.  
  
(20 Miles later)There finally at the adoption agency filling out papers "Um excuse me Mr.C. I need the parents signature."Said some wacky looking clerk (Dont kill me!!!!) Johnny looks at her "Okeedokie!"Said Johnny simply "Todd three more trips and thats all oh wait make that four." Todd looks at him "Um whats the extra one for?"Asked the same person who was looking (For the simple minded:Squee)Johnny keeps scribbling "We gotta get something to eat at the Taco Hell/Smell!Duh!"Said Johnny.  
  
(69 miles later NO MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......!)Todd is outta sweat hes only shriveled so skinny that the happy noodle boy looks FAT! *somekind of noise his doorbell makes* *Ditto* Johnny gets up opens the door (Oh yeah there home) and some confetti sprays and blowie thingys start blowing "Congrats Mr.C. you won one million dollars!"Said some guy (Seno'r Diablo's disguise)Johnny looks at him then takes the check and slams the door "Squee we gotta take a trip to the fizz wizz company!"Said Johnny.  
  
(100,000 dollars later) Johnny walks back home with Todd (A/N:God that kids gonna die Johnny:Not if I can help it! Me:Shut up before I take away the fizz wizz and money Johnny:Ok!!Ok!!!you win!) "The fizz wizz will be delivered today some time."Said Johnny Todd is literally dragging himself "Hey um Mr.Nny can you help me I cant walk anymore."Says Todd before passing out AAAAAHHH theres some kind of wobbly headed thing coming!!! "*Sigh*People with there idiotic ways sleeping on the street I wish I was an imbecile too wel....."those were the last words before Johnny stabbed him.Dead.  
  
(Short news flash)Johnnys at the tv studio "Hey you arent you the guy who reported the taco hell/smell thing?"Asked Johnny the guy looks over "Yes I am want an autograph?"Asked the guy who....talks "No say what the cop said and I'll give you a surprise!"Said Johnny with that crazy look in his eye "He-Hem,okay "It Was Wacky."is that good enough I can't repeat stuff good!"Said the dead man *RRIIIPPPP!* news caster is dead finally "I want fizz wizz."  
  
(Johnny learns math)Johnny walks along passing a park where the happy noodle boy is yelling (A/N:I know he's johnny's comic but he's funny OBEY THE PANTS!) "Okay lets see Squee needs to combine the numbers 666 and 777,"Said Johnny crossing a sign that says (666+777=1443) (A/N:I talk a lot and heres advice keep a calculater handy!PANTS!) 'What could the answer be?"Asked Johnny to himself crossing the club '666+777+1443' Johnny looks at the club sign "Eh I'll just go with that."  
  
(YOU OBEY THE PANTS NOW!!)Johnny walks towards his closet "Man I haven't been in there since uh that last time."Said Johnny he opens the closet and out comes PANTS! "You puny human obey me!!!"Said the pants (OBEY!!!) oh yeah and its ZIMs voice as THE PANTS! "Righ...t *pulls knive out* *RRRRIIIPPPP* damn pants they always go against you sometime!"Said Johnny walking out of the room then red glowing eyes look out then go blue (OBEY THE SHIRTS!!!!) "I wanna go home!"Said THE SHIRT! with GIRs voice.  
  
(Ending stuff...things) I Know a little too unfunny I'll work on it I am still rusty oh yeah and DONT fight THE PANTS! or THE SHIRTS! the always win and next in the installment THE UNDERWEAR! I will think of other stuff.....THE HATS! 


	3. Hey You What did you do with my PANTS?

Disclaimer:Hello and welcome back to....SHUT UP! this is the real me and his first word Hello! Don't worry Todd did not get hurt it was THE PANTS! they will be back with THE GLOVES! and THE HATS! and don't forget THE SHIRTS!have a good time and be sure to get your hand stamped on the way out.  
  
Hey! you! what did you do with MY PANTS!?:Johnny walks over to Todd "Need any help with whatever it is your doing?"Asked Johnny Todd stares at his paper some more "No thanks Mr.Nny."Said Todd sweetly (Sweetly full of EVIL!) "Okeedokee, Oh I forgot my knive in the other room be right back."Said Johnny running to THE PANTS! room when he walks inside he finds a sewing machine some pant threads and his closet emptied "Hmm do the...what was it?Chemistry or science?Oh thats right P.E. no wait its math ok lets see evil pants sewin machine E=mc2 direct route to gramma's house we're off to see the wizard I got it there right here!"said Johnny picking up his knives.  
  
(Shmee's alliance with THE PANTS!)Shmee,Sickness,THOSE FRIGGIN PHSYCO- DOUHBOYS! all in one room (A/N:This part is like a flashback before Devi gets home and the doughboys uhh just go with it)"Hey Sheem don't ruin anything!"Yelled Sickness Shmee looks at her "Shut up and my name is Shmee!"Yelled Sheem (I mean shmee sorry!)"Oh well lets get to the fricken point you sacks of stuffing!"Yelled Mr.Eff Sickness looks around "Okay we need to talk about THE PANTS! they are invading minds faster than we can become animated (Real, DUH?!)we gotta stop them!"yelled Sickness damn its loud (Shut up young whipper snappers!) "One more thing ATTACK PANTS!"Yelled Shmee then THE PANTS! come out followed by THE SHIRTS! the THE SHIRTS! jump on THE PANTS! and become a semi-body "You back stabbing bastar...."Said Mr.Eff before getting his animation eatin by THE COMBO!  
  
(Devi "Runs" into Johnny and Todd)Johnny walks along with Todd close by "Where are we going Mr.Nny?"Asked Todd (Tough little flesh eating baby) Johnny starts smiling "We're heading to a friends neighborhood and call me Nny just that Okay?"Said Johnny with excitement in his voice ''Okay Nny."Said Todd with releive of not having to say MR.something anymore (i am releived I do not have to type mr.)*Devi's side of the story* She runs like crazy from a guy chasing her to rob her "Just give up I ain't gonna let you get away!"Yelled some french guys voice then suddenly she hits somebody and that somebody hits another person it sounded like a kid (Lets get straight the damn point) 'Its Johnny!Oh god NO!'She thought with terror (This chapter isn't that funny so next time will be diffrent but lets see if we can't spice that up Devi:Oh God Spice!?)Johnny looks down and smiles he takes out a knive with laser sight and aims at a spot no man can stand to be hit in and throws it "OH GOD NOOOO AAAAIIIIEEEEGGGHHHH!!"Yelled the french robber person after being stabbed "there" Jonny who remains looking down "Hey Devi long time no uh nothing!"Said Johnny picking Todd up "This is Todd he's my adopted son-like-thing!"Said Johnny in excitment Devi gets up "Nice catchin up gotta run bye!"She said in a fast worried voice running off not looking back "Well she seemed nice today!"Said Johnny.  
  
(Little mini THE COMBO! chronicles)THE COMBO! runs around the street looking around everywhere stealing minds it walks into a clothes store and out comes THE PERFECT MATCH! (OH DEAR GOD NO!!!!!!) "Run its gonna kill us!"Said some hillbilly while he runs and so do pretty much everybody "They certainly were a good apatizer lets get the main course NEW YORK!"Yelled Gir,Zim,Dib,Gaz,And Ms.Bitters voice altogether.  
  
(The end of chapter something or another) Sorry if that was to short and too unfunny its 2:45AM right now I'll try harder expect more!  
  
(Thanx)Thanks Nny'sgirl for being my first reveiwer and bluehaze and you too uhhhhh......something I know it was it Reinny? oh well I'll thank you guys again pretty soon anyways! 


	4. The betrayel of Shmee revealed

Disclaimer:Hello heres a lil' update I am quitting this story to move on to a new one after this so enjoy!  
  
The betrayel of shmee revealed:Johnny sits on his couch watching the news "This just in it seems something called the combo is terrorizing New York!"Said the news lady "What crazy things next walking and talking dolls?!"Said Johnny throwing his head back laughing "Nny why is that funny?"Asked little Todd Johnny looks at him still a little laughing "Its nothing."said Johnny before getting up "I feel like a fizz wizz after all were well now were thousandaires!"Said Johnny taking the cap of the bottle "Oh yeah and Nny can you help me?"Asked Todd Johnny jumps on the couch "Sure what is it?" Todd flips through some papers "Whats 12x12?"Asked Todd Johnny spits his fizz wizz all over the place "WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE A CALCU....SOMETHING!?!?"Yelled Johnny running out of the room and slamming his door "Um Nny thats the closet."said Todd Johnny walks out "I knew that."  
  
(Shmee?)Its about a day later and Johnny sits on the same couch doing what he did yesterday (Hey!why is Little squeegee in such hard math at his age?) the news comes on "Half of New York is already taken by the combo thats all for now goodbye."Said the reporter Johnny looks at the tv a little longer thinking to himself "Hey Squee were taking a trip to New York!"Yelled Johnny jumping up and throwing things into his backpack Todd starts doing the same without question "Where the hell are you going?"Asked the only stuffed thing in the room Shmee Johnny looks around and so does Todd "Shmee?!"cried out both of them Johnny takes out a knive "I haven't quite killed you yet huh bear?WELL FUCK YOU!!!YOU LINT STUFFED BEAR!!"Yelled Johnny plunging at Shmee ripping him up "Just so you know thats not going to stop me!"Yelled Shmee before being only lint. Johnny walks on the plane first followed by Todd "Lets not speak of Shmee anytime soon okay?"Asked Johnny Todd looks at him "Okay!"Said Todd a little nervous.  
  
(The short part of the story)Johnny looks at the things that happened to him lately and relized that little sweet Todd gave him great things Todd lays on Johnny sleeping "I'll be happy when his life gets better."Whispered Johnny to himself.  
  
(The end?)Well thats the short ending it sucked did'nt it?thats why after I get these other ideas out of my head I will write more the sequel so heres a rough draft of the title of my "Romance"story "Love?Hate?whats the diffrence?" it will have Devi and Johnny and next time Johnny ain't gonna be so nice : )  
  
(See'ya For Now) 


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